IF YOU ASK, SHE WILL TELL. Don’t assume a woman is going to like the same things your last girlfriend did. I’ve been with men who just do what they think is right, and some of them hit the nail on the head and some of them don’t know what they’re doing. I’ve also been with guys who say, “Tell me how you like it. Tell me how to do it the way that makes you feel good.” That’s sexy. And this goes for women, too. Don’t be a quiet person in bed, thinking to yourself, Oh, this is great. Voice it. Say, “Oh, this is great. I’m about to come,” so he knows what he’s doing is perfect – and he doesn’t switch up the routine. As long as you’re in the heat of the moment and you’re passionate, it’s sexy.

On the other hand . . . “Did you come?” is just the worst thing for a guy to ask a woman after sex. I had one boyfriend who asked me that, and I said, “You can’t tell?” He said, “Actually, no. I just assume, or I usually ask.” So the next time we did it I said, “Okay, I’m about to come. Just feel it.” And he did, and he was blown away. He said, “Oh my god, that was crazy, and it felt so good.” And I said, “Well, okay, now you know.” Most men need to be taught, because they basically don’t know a woman’s body. They only know what they’ve learned from previous women.

Just do it. Spontaneity is really reotic. If you can let your guard down, be just about anywhere and go at it, that’s erotic. It can be a lot more fun than waiting until you get home. And it can involve so many things : toys, candle wax, paddles, spanking,hair pulling, biting, role playing. Spontaneity is the key!

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